They'll Never Know
by Neferuaten
Summary: Lily Evans always liked her fellow Gryffindor prefect, Remus Lupin. But as sixth year reaches its peak, Remus seems even more appealing to her foolish heart and friendship doesn't seem enough to her. Romance set in the golden era of the Marauders. Rated T for language and content.
1. Lily in Friendzone

'Are you sure we won't be late?'

Remus Lupin sighed. 'Lily, the first bell hasn't even gone yet. We'll be fine.'

Lily laughed, swinging her bag over her shoulder and picking up her coat, plus a heap of scrolls. Why had she brought that coat with her? It was May, and the sun was warm on her red head. When she tried to stand, the parchment fell to the floor. Remus rushed to pick them up for her, but Lily stopped him.

'Come on, let me carry something,' he insisted. Lily paused, watching the scrolls slowly unfurling. He only wanted to help.

'Hold this,' she said, passing her coat to him. He took it and wrapped it around his shoulders.

'Look, I'm Lily Evans!' He took off the coat and draped it over his arm as Lily laughed - again - dropping the scrolls she'd just picked up.

Remus carefully put down the coat and grabbed up some of the scrolls, stuffing them inside his heavily darned cloak. Sirius was always teasing him, calling him gay and feminine, because of his amazing abilities to fix anything fabric, but James always joked that it was useful.

'You know, you're much funnier than Potter,' Lily said, oblivious to the crimson blush that was creeping over Remus' face. 'His humour is crass and stupid, but yours is . . .' She searched for the word. 'Classic, I guess.'

'You mean, childish,' Remus said, passing her the scrolls. Their hands met for a second, making Lily blush this time; Remus was tactful enough to pretend not to notice. But he was blushing a little too.

Remus Lupin had never before thought of Lily Evans as anything but a good friend. She was intelligent, good looking, and a little bit of an outcast since she had been friends with 'Snivellus' Snape for her first few years at Hogwarts. When they'd both become prefects, they'd started to talk a whole lot more. He'd found her a bit like himself; apart from the good looking bit. Remus thought that he was a sickly being, with his darned clothes, wild hair and scars. Lily was an amazing person, but, no. They were just friends, no matter what anyone said. Remus liked that Lily didn't judge him like everyone else. She didn't ask where he went every full moon, either. James should give her a break, he thought. She doesn't want him.

Or was he just saying that because he didn't want them together? The truth was, though Remus had no idea, Lily had fancied him since fourth year, even though she rarely let it get to her; Remus was a very friend to her and she liked it that way. Lily looked up at the boy who was holding the scrolls she'd dropped. He had always looked slightly ruggedly handsome; but it wasn't that he was handsome that she had befriended him. The fact that he was in the 'cool' crowd, yet kind of nerdy, made him extremely similar to her. Lily smiled at herself. _Cool and nerdy_, she thought. _What will I think about myself next?_

Remus Lupin picked up the remaining two scrolls, then noticed that Lily had started walking. She was probably worried about being late for potions with Slughorn - why? He was lenient, and adored Lily. Surely she could afford to be late

'Remus?' Lily tilted her head to one side. She had started to walk, but had noticed she wasn't being followed by her friend.

'Coming,' he said, striding up to her with satchel over one shoulder. No. She and Remus could only be friends, Lily decided.

'Now we're gonna be late,' Lily said anxiously.

'No we're not,' Remus said calmly. 'It's another 2 and a half minutes until Potions.' He held out his arm slightly limply. 'I still have your coat,' he added. 'And your History of Magic essay.'

'You can keep it if you want; the coat. It suits you,' Lily laughed. Remus laughed too, and in that moment, Lily forgot that she had ever liked Remus as more than a friend. They were just two Hogwarts pupils enjoying the early spring sun, walking up the sprawling Hogwarts lawns towards the warm darkness of the castle.


	2. James Tries his Luck

That evening in the Gryffindor common room, Lily curled up like a cat in her usual seat by the fire. Over a battered copy of _A History Of Magic_, she eyed Lupin wearily. Potions had been perfectly dismal; her memories were trying to suffocate her. She tried not to think about the feel of Remus' hand lightly brushing hers, or the sound of his voice when they were on dark, late-night prefect duties like checking for first-years out of bed.

'Oi, Evans!' Lily was startled out of her relative tranquility by a rowdy cry from the direction of her gaze.

'Oh, Merlin,' she muttered. 'Potter.' She smiled helplessly at Remus, who smiled back, shrugging. Potter was by her side faster than she could say 'Quidditch.'

'Hello there, Evans,' he said smoothly. 'How are you doing? You look pretty ho-'

'What do you want, arsehole?' Lily said, even more smoothly. Remus, Sirius and Pettigrew made an 'Oooooooo' noise.

'I want you,' Potter said, after a moment's pause. Lily snapped her book shut suddenly, making everyone go quiet. Potter smirked.

'Well, I don't want you; sorry,' she snapped. 'Goodnight, Potter.' She flounced upstairs.

Remus watched her retreating back, smiling slightly. James watched her back, too - or rather, her backside.

'She hates you,' Remus said sheepishly. James spun round.

'Of course, she looks like she does! But I bet she loves me really,' James said.

'Prongs, if your ego was any bigger, that gigantic head of yours would explode,' Sirius joked. 'Just leave her be.' James looked at him sharply.

'It's obvious she finds you loathsome,' Remus chuckled. 'Not every girl likes a bad boy.'

'And how would you know that, Moony?' James flopped into Lily's empty seat.

'She talks to me,' he confessed. Sirius blew a loud wolf whistle. 'Anyway, Snivellus isn't exactly a bad boy and she hung about him for four years,' he added hastily. 'And if you don't mind, I'm going to write up my Potions now.'

'Why doesn't she like me?' James moaned.

'Not everyone likes you, Prongs,' Sirius said exasperatedly.

'Well, Padfoot, you can't exactly tell me how to deal with rejection; you've never had to experience it.'

'Yeah . . . I guess normally I'm the one _doing _the rejecting,' he laughed.

'Don't laugh about it,' James said sharply. 'You hurt them.'

'I . . .' Sirius was lost for words. There was silence, broken only by the pale crackling of the dying fire.

'She likes Moony,' Peter Pettigrew mumbled. It was the first time he had spoken.

'_What?_' Remus had their full attention again.

'You were too busy restraining James to notice . . . she wasn't reading that book. She was looking at you from behind it.'

'Nope. Wormtail, that's impossible. She's my friend. We're friends.'

'We'll keep an eye on her for you,' Sirius said jollily, patting Peter on the shoulder and turning to talk to James. 'Won't we, Prongs-'

James was gone.

'He's jealous,' Sirius sighed. 'Because he's convinced that Lily likes you more than him.'

'Of course she does,' Remus said. 'It's only logical.'

'Why d'you think?' Sirius asked, unconcealed curiosity on his face.

'She never talks to Prongs, but she always speaks with me. She said that she hates James' crass sense of humour and prefers my boringness.'

'She actually said that she thought you were boring?'

'No! She said that -'

'Wait, wait,' Wormtail interrupted. 'She's been telling you that she prefers you to James?'

'Not literally . . . but I guess she's been hinting pretty heavily.' Remus shrugged. 'What's the time?'

Sirius checked his muggle digital watch - an act of rebellion against his mother - and sighed. 'Ahhh . . . ickle Peterkins had better get to bed. It's 8 o'clock,' he said happily. 'Plenty more time.'

'8? 8pm?' Peter stood up. 'I promised my mum I'd go to bed early . . .'

'It's okay, go to bed now and then we'll wake you at 11,' Remus assured him. 'Night, Wormy.'

'See you_ tomorrow_,' Sirius winked.

When Peter was safely up the stairs to the dorm, Sirius spoke again.

'I didn't want to say earlier, because, Prongs would be mad at us all then,' he said quietly, 'but I think Wormtail has a point.'

'What?'

'Evans was checking out your butt in potions, Moony.'


	3. The Crushing Dialema

That night, Remus Lupin did not go 'marauding' with his friends. He lay in his bed, pajama clad, examining his reflection in a small shard of mirror he'd found on his dressing table. He looked at himself; Remus was a skinny adolescent, he noted, looking at his shirtless chest and baggy trousers. Lily couldn't like him; he was too . . . he couldn't think of a word.

The truth was, Remus enjoyed being single. He had seen Sirius get through as many as ten girlfriends in half a year. He'd be devoted until he found one who he prefered - i.e. one with a bigger bust. James always chased Lily, even though he had a thousand girls scraping at his feet each day. Wormtail didn't count; he was just a little guy who went along with them because . . . why did Wormy hang out with them? Remus shrugged to himself.

'Whatcha doing?'

Remus swore, dropping the mirror and cutting his fingers. Looking up, he saw a slender figure with a sheet of dark red hair.

'Lily! What are you doing? This is the _boy's _dorm.'

'Oh, the girls are all being stupid . . . they're busy talking about how hot James and Sirius are. When I said they were both trolls,' she sniffed, 'they chucked me out. So I figured that I could come up here, the others aren't here. Unless they're under James' cloak?'

'How do you know about the cloak?' Remus was surprised.

'Oh, Potter is always bragging about something or another, and he was telling me about it in Charms.' Lily sat heavily on Sirius' bed, adjacent to Remus.

'Ah. James does appear to have a kind of thing with secrets.'

'That he tells them?'

'He doesn't tell other peoples, but he always tells his own . . .'

'Weird.'

'I know, right?'

They sat in silence for the next couple of minutes, listening to the wind on the window. It was quite dark, nine thirty by the old clock on the dorm wall.

'Remus?' Lily peered at him across the gap between the beds.

'Yes?' Remus smiled at her, and she blushed as she realised that he wasn't properly dressed.

'Why does Potter like me? Why would anyone like me?'

_Why do you like me? Why would anyone like me? _Remus thought to himself. But he answered properly. 'Because you're intelligent, funny _and_ beautiful,' he said honestly.

'Beautiful?' Lily blushed darker than ever. _He called me beautiful! _She wanted to scream it to the world. Yet she knew that just because he thought she was beautiful didn't mean anything. She thought that James Potter and Sirius Black were hot, but that didn't make her want to have any kind of relationship with either of them. Her heart fell, and it must have shown in her face because Remus beckoned, patting the space on the bed beside him. Surprised, she took it.

'Lily, I want to know something.'

'Yeah?' she croaked.

'James doesn't just want you for the sex, or, because he thinks you're stunningly hot,' Remus said seriously. 'Of course he wants you for those reasons, but not those reasons alone. He likes your _personality,_ and that is why you're so valuable to him.'

'You really think so?' she said slowly.

'Yes,' Remus said. 'Look, I'm not trying to convince you that dating Prongs is a good idea; it's a bad one, because if you don't really want to it'd break his heart.'

'I guess so . . . but there is someone I like,' Lily confessed, going a bright scarlet that matched her hair.

'And?' Remus started to blush as he traced the path of Lily's gaze with his eyes in his little piece of mirror. She was looking from his face, to his chest, to his lips again.

'I want your advice,' Lily said carefully. She tried not to look right into Remus' eyes, instead concentrating on his chapped lips.

'On . . .'

'What I should do. About the person I like,' she stammered, loosing confidence.

'Well, I'm your friend; I guess that's what I'm here for,' he shrugged. 'Hey, you look cold; there are goose-pimples all up your arms!'

He was right. Lily was dressed only in a bodycon t-shirt and tracksuit.

Embarrassed (yet enthralled) that Remus had noticed such an intimate thing, Lily smiled weakly. 'I am,' she admitted.

'Here,' Remus said, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders. 'Now, your problem.'

'What should I say to him?' Lily blurted. 'I really like him so much, but he's been my friend for ages and I don't want to ruin that if it doesn't work.'

'Tell him,' Remus said. 'Tell him and see what happens.'

Inside him, Remus half hoped that the 'friend' would be Snivellus. But he thought that unlikely.


	4. Maybe Not Just Friends

Lily couldn't concentrate on her breakfast that morning. She was too busy remembering the night before. The other girls hadn't really been discussing Sirius Black's abs, or how long they thought James' - Lily stopped herself. No. She'd just wanted to tell Remus how she felt, but then, she had failed.

'Toast, Evans?' Lily looked up to see Sirius smiling down at her. Padfoot wasn't that bad, she thought; it was Potter who was the idiot, the arsehole.

'Yes please,' she said brightly. Then she frowned. 'Potter's spiked it, hasn't he?'

'Damn, you, Lily, you're too clever for your own good,' Sirius laughed. 'I'll just feed it to Wormtail.'

'That's mean,' Lily protested. She was trying not to take the toast, which smelt of bonfire smoke, melting chocolate and something musty she couldn't place. _It must contain Amortia - love potion_, she thought to herself.

'Hey, Padfoot,' Remus said, sitting between Lily and Sirius. 'Where's James?'

'Prongs? Oh, he's busy doing his Herbology essay,' Sirius scoffed. 'I can't see why he bothers.'

'I can,' Remus said. 'He wants to be an auror.'

'If I said that, my mum would crucify me,' Sirius joked, causing Lily to look up in surprise.

'She wouldn't literally nail you up, would she?'

'Evans, you_ really_ don't know my mum,' Sirius said darkly. 'Moony, pass the coffee, I'm dog tired.'

'Dog tired . . .' Remus chuckled. 'That would make me, what?'

'Careful what you say, Remus,' Sirius warned. Remus shook his head.

'Ah, sometimes I forget myself.'

'What do we have first?' Lily asked. Remus produced a neatly folded piece of parchment.

'Transfiguration. Shame Peter doesn't take it, huh? He'd be good.'

'We had to help him a fair bit with that rat business, Moony,' Sirius reminded him. Lily looked at them curiously.

'What "rat business"?'

'Nothing,' Sirius said a little too fast. 'Come on, don't want to be late for McGonagall.'

The three of them got up, grabbing their bags, as the bell rang, and Sirius spotted James and Peter in the distance. 'See you guys in a second,' he called, racing towards his best friend.

The two of them sat in the front row along with several others. Lily saw Severus Snape throw her a fleeting glance of sadness before taking his seat at the desk to her right. Remus took the desk to her left, next to the wall, and smiled. He looked behind them, seeing James and Sirius at the back, miming firing hexes at Snape. Poor Severus.

'Remus?' Lily asked, once the class had started working - they were turning logs into pangolins.

'Yes, Lily?'

'You know what we were saying yesterday?' She noticed Snape staring, and pointed her wand in his direction. '_ Muffliato!_'

'Yeah?'

'Well, I'm going to tell him . . .'

'Do it, then?'

'I really like you,' she said, blushing bright pink._  
_

'_Me? _Merlin, Lily, is this some kind of joke?'

'No.' She smiled hesitantly, but only for a second.

'Lily, we're just friends.'

'I - look, just forget it. Please don't tell anyone.' Lily was confused, upset, and Remus could see that. He needed her to cheer up, he couldn't bear to see his friends

'But we can't just be friends now you've said that . . .'

'I know. I'm sorry. Please forget it-'

'Give me a few days to think this over,' Remus interrupted. Lily looked at him in shock.

'But you don't love me!'

'What if I find out that I do? Lily, I don't know about any of this either. I just know that I want my friend to be happy.'

'But what if it costs you your happiness?'

'Lily, you'd never cost me my happiness.' He looked her up and down, unconsciously taking every piece of information he could. Her delicate curves, the way the light shone through her slightly translucent school shirt and her hand rested on her knee. She was very pretty, there was no denying it. Maybe he could make her happy, even though the thought of being more than friends with Lily disturbed his conscience greatly.

He would think about it.


	5. Future Lily Lupin?

Lily really, really hoped that Remus would say yes. She kept looking at him from a distance, wishing he felt the same as her.

A week had passed since the awkward scene in Transfiguration, and they had only spoken when it was necessary. Lily was on the verge of tears, and Remus was under bigger stress than ever. But he finally made his decision.

'Hello,' said Lily in surprise when Remus joined her by the lake that afternoon. She had been watching him over _A History Of Magic _again as he walked slowly down the sloping front lawns. It was the last Saturday in May and Remus had escaped from the others specifically to find her. They'd all gone to Hogsmeade via the Humpbacked witch secret passage.

'Hi,' Remus said. 'You mind if I sit with you?' He looked at her book. It was upside down.

'Nope,' said Lily. 'Or yes - what do you say when someone asks that and you don't mind?'

'I don't know,' said Remus. 'But I do know something else.'

Lily's heart skipped a beat. 'What's that?' She closed her upsidedown book.

After a moment of frantic thought, Remus spoke.

'I don't like you,' he said, startling himself. Some subconscious force had taken over.

'Like, don't like don't like?' Lily looked at him awkwardly.

'Like, the way you said - you said you liked me last week. You're my . . . you're just my friend.' Remus, for the first time, was embarrassed.

'You mean -' Then she hugged him.

Remus was uncomfortable with the hug. It wasn't a friend's hug, or a sisterly hug, it was a romantic hug. Lily's arms crept around his skinny form and pulled him to her bosom, and he had no choice but to break away.

What the hell was she doing? He had just said he didn't want her, and here she was hugging him like he'd just promised her a lifetime's supply of Honeydukes. She was his friend, not his girlfriend. Remus looked at her, capturing her in a moment. Her red hair was loosed around her face and her pale, soft lips were slightly parted. Each freckle was illuminated in the sunlight, and Remus couldn't think of anyone with so many, apart from maybe Gideon Prewett in the year above. No, he couldn't do this to his friend. She was like the sister he'd never had, and letting her love him would be like incest. He looked into Lily's green, almond shaped eyes. She _was _beautiful, and she was pleading. _She loves me_, Remus realised. _But she doesn't want to make me feel bad about it. _He didn't want her to feel bad, either.

'D'you want to go to Hogsmeade with me next week?' he blurted. Something had to be done to stop her from welling up.

'Yeah,' said Lily, a little bashfully.

'Okay,' he said. 'That's a date then. Not like, date, date. Like -'

'I know,' Lily asked. There was a pause. 'Sorry about that hug . . . that was a bit weird, I didn't -'

'It's okay,' Remus said reassuringly, squeezing her shoulders. _Oh Merlin, now I'm the one doing the hugging, _he thought ans he looked at the way Lily's head rested on his shoulder. He stroked her hair awkwardly, and she sighed. What just happened to his previous ideas?

The truth was, this didn't feel how Remus had predicted - it didn't feel like incest at all. Not that he knew, he was just guessing. No, this felt good, and that made him feel all the more uncomfortable. Lily Evans was his friend, and he didn't want that to change for the worst. If they went out, and went out forever, got married, that'd all be very well. But if they broke up, they'd never be able to restore their friendship.

_Remus Lupin, are you bloody mad? _He imagined Sirius' response if he told him that Lily Evans was going to Hogsmeade with him - just him - even if it was just as friends. He didn't try to imagine James' because that would be painful. A punch in the face.


	6. You See Beauty

'I . . . I don't know what to say,' Lily said honestly. 'Do you really love me, or are we friends?'

'You're my . . . you're just my friend, and I want you to be happy.'

Lily was sitting inside the Three Broomsticks with Remus, and she was so sad that she thought it was a wonder that no-one had seen. Today, more than ever, she hoped that Potter wasn't looking for her, because if he found her, Remus would get the worst of his annoyingness, and probably his fist. Because James'd be jealous.

'What if me being happy costs your happiness?' Lily said philosophically. Remus was thrown by the question.

'But you being happy would make me happy,' Remus said, unsure whether this was really true.

'Remus, we can't just be friends anymore, now that I said I,' Lily faltered, 'said I liked you. And you said you could never love me. It's just too awkward.'

'I never said I didn't love you,' Remus said sharply. 'But Lily . . .' He looked at her for a while, into her almond eyes. 'You've been here for me, now, when I thought no-one else was. And -' he cleared his throat - 'You have a way of seeing beauty in others when they've given up all other hopes. Like me.'

Lily's heart was racing. She didn't know what to do, and she had all the instincts to fight or fly. She held them in.

'I know this sounds ridiculous, but . . . follow me.' Remus stood, putting a couple of silver coins on the table. Lily stood too.

'Where are we going?' Remus walked down the green-edged road, Lily close in tow.

'The Shrieking Shack.'

'Why?' Lily asked, bewildered.

'I want to tell show you something.'

The rest of the way was walked in silence, and though Lily yearned to break it, she couldn't bring herself to say anything. Remus climbed over a rotting style, into the scrubland that surrounded the shack. Lily followed.

'_ Alohomora!_' Remus twitched his wand and the door opened. Lily hesitated before entering the damp house.

'Why are we here?' Lily asked, as Remus pointed his wand at the empty grate of the fireplace and flames erupted from the tip.

'I go here when I don't want to see anyone else,' he replied.

'It's lovely,' Lily said, her instinct of etiquette kicking in.

'No it isn't,' Remus laughed. 'It's a shithole.' Lily laughed too, and they both smiled at eachother for a while until Remus spoke.

'I want to tell you something,' he said hollowly.

'About?'

'About where I go every month,' he whispered, sitting down on the threadbare, bulging sofa

'Tell me,' said Lily. But she had long ago guessed the reasons for his monthly disappearances, were his nickname of Moony made it far too obvious.

'I'm a monster,' he said, his voice breaking up. 'A . . . a werewolf.'

Lily didn't scream. She didn't recoil in shock or disgust. She just sat down on the overstuffed sofa next to him, and put her arm around him.

'I know,' she said sadly. 'I guessed.'

'Of course,' Remus said, head still bowed. 'You're clever, you must have guessed. It's better for me to tell you, though, isn't it?' He smiled weakly.

'Yes, it is,' Lily said, leaning her head on his shoulder. Remus, to her surprise, let her.

'You know, you can get addicted to sadness,' he said randomly.

'You're sad?' Lily sat up properly. 'Why are you sad?'

'Because I don't know what to do,' Remus said, his usually calm voice wavering.

'About?'

'You! Why am I even saying this,' he yelled, standing up and walking over the the window. Lily stood too, walking after him.

'Remus . . . I understand. This can't work. I guess . . . I'll just try to forget,' she said, battling tears.

'But Lily - it can work,' he said. Seeing his friend sad made him sad. 'It will work,' he said, determined.

'It won't,' Lily cried. 'Because you said it yourself. You're my friend!'

'I know,' Remus replied. 'And that's why it's so sad, that's why I don't know what to do!'

'Do what feels right!' Lily urged. Then she turned and ran from the shack, leaving Remus too absorbed in his misery to notice a thing.


	7. Encounter at Full Moon

Lily couldn't sleep; it wasn't to do with the shattered moonlight that fell on the walls, or the soft snoring of the girl in the bed opposite. It was because of what Remus had said. '_ You're my . . . you're just my friend, and I want you to be happy._' But Lily wasn't sure. Maybe she was trying to convince herself his feelings were the same as hers, but that sounded more like something someone who loves you says. He wasn't necessarily crazy for her but, boy, she was crazy for him. Remus wasn't perfect, he was far from it - but to Lily, those flaws made him perfect and made him who he was, the person she had fallen for. He did make her happy, whether he liked her or not he understood her perfectly. She could tell him anything.

But he didn't know what he wanted to do, and that saddened her more than anything. She would give anything to make him love her, as long as it wasn't artificial.

'_Lumos_,' she said, lighting her wand. She got out of her bed and slowly walked to the Marauder's dorm.

But there was no-one there. She even tried _Homenum Revelio, _but there was no human life in the room. Disappointed, she went back to bed.

Meanwhile, Remus was restless. It was full moon and he was on his way to his monthly 'quarantine' at the Shrieking Shack, agitation flowing through his veins like a hot river of blood. On top of this, he still had Lily's love to deal with. She cared for him so much, seeing only the best in him, and Remus only wanted her to feel happy. But was that friendship, or a display of love and romantic affection? He approached the whomping willow and he felt the prickling pain of transformation beginning. The willow was so close. Remus walked faster, the remaining 100 metres looking like 100 miles.

Lily realised why she hadn't found Remus when she looked out of the window. The moon, clear and bright, was pretty much full.

He must be at the shack.

Lily Evans was a gryffindor, which meant she was no coward; and that turned into a weakness, because she made one of the stupidest decisions of her life. Putting on her coat and a hat that would hide her red hair in the dark, she left the common room.

'Who's that? Who's there?' The Fat Lady muttered. Lily tried not to smile.

'Shh, it's just me.'

'You shouldn't be out of bed . . .'

'___Incantation_ Disillusion!' Lily muttered, pointing her wand at her head and casting a perfect disillusionment charm over herself. Then she walked down the stairs towards the door, and the imposing night. She didn't meet anyone as she walked through the halls of Hogwarts, but when she reached the front doors, she had to speak.

'_Alohomora!_' To her, her voice sounded like a million shouts. But really, it was a quiet whisper. Lily stepped into the moonlight.

The next step was difficult, because her shadow was bright and clear in the silvery sharpness. So Lily stuck to the shade of the castle until finally, she realised she had no idea how she was going to get the the shack.

Then she saw him.

Remus was at the base of the Whomping Willow. He looked as if he was suffering terrible agony and Lily had to stop herself from calling his name. She watched him closely - he pressed a knot on the roots of the willow. The branches stopped swinging and Remus disappeared into a hole between the roots.

She knew what this must be, one of those secret passages. Lily sprinted across the lawns, forgetting her shadow, and dived into the hole before the branches started again, bumping right into Remus who'd stopped part way through the tunnel. He wasn't in his wolf form yet, but he looked frustrated, in pain and an inhuman look was in his eyes.

'_Lily?_'

'_Remus?_'

'Get out, now,' he said firmly, getting over his initial shock. 'I should never have told you anything.'

'But Remus!'

'Lily, you can't come here! I'm going to change,' he snarled, throwing the light of reality over her.

'Remus, I couldn't sleep.'

'You might not sleep again if you don't get out!' The 16-year-old's face was strained and he looked old beyond his years.

'I need to know something!' Lily said frantically.

'Get on with it, I'm changing,' Remus growled.

'Do -' But she was transfixed with horror, because Remus' face was changing and hairs were growing all over his body.

'Run,' said Remus' fierce voice. 'Get out, now, before James, Sirius and Peter arrive.'

'James, Sirius and Peter - wait, why am I talking to a wolf?' Lily said, feeling slightly dazed.

'I said go,' said the wolf, and then Lily realised how stupid she was. This was why she wasn't a Ravenclaw.

'Remus?'

'Get the hell outta here!'


	8. D'ya Wanna go Out With Me, Evans?

Lily reached the Gryffindor tower minutes later, panting and crying. She didn't know what to say, what to do.

Remus was a monster.

The thing was, Lily looked past the monster and felt sorry for Remus, and that made her love him even more. What had once been a crush had become a passion.

Next morning, Remus was back. His eyes were tired and had bags under them. Lily tried to ignore him, but it was hard.

In DADA, Remus was the usual shining student, competing hard with Lily. She loved it; it was just like old times, when they had been shy of each other and eager to show off in class.

'Yes, Mr Lupin?'

'It's a grindylow, sir.'

'Very good. 10 points to gryffindor. Where do grindylows live?'

'Water,' Remus said, as if it were obvious - which it was, to Lily and he, at least.

'Another 10 points.'

'Excuse me, sir,' Lily interrupted. 'But don't grindylows live in the _weeds _under water?' There was scattered whispering across the class and Remus looked at her for the first time that day. Her goal was achieved, and she smiled at him. He shook his head and went back to his work.

'Yeah,' James Potter said loudly. 'Evans is right -'

'But so was Remus,' Lily said cooly. 'I was just adding to his point.' That shut him up; Lily didn't want his 'support' anymore than she wanted his love.

'Thanks,' said Remus afterwards. 'I know it gives you a high or something, pissing off James, but whilst you were doing it, you pissed me off, too.'

'Sorry,' Lily said. 'Say, d'you want to go to the library? We have a free period.'

Remus looked at the other marauders, who had started walking. They wouldn't miss him this once. 'Okay.'

As they walked, the talked. 'Remus, I'm really sorry about what happened last night.'

'It's alright,' Remus said, smiling.

'Oh. Okay.'

'So, why the library?'

'I don't know. Perhaps it's because Potter is never there.'

Remus chuckled. 'Yes, I think that's part of the glamour of it.'

The pair of them entered the library, heading for a small desk by the window. Remus pulled out the chair for Lily, bowing in mock gentlemanliness, and she laughed. It suddenly occurred to him how couple-like they already were.

'Oh, only one chair,' Remus frowned. 'Budge up!'

Lily did, still laughing, and Remus sat on the edge of the chair. He promptly fell off (on purpose) and Lily laughed even louder, earning them a loud 'Shhh!' from Madame Pince, the librarian.

'Anyway,' said Remus, pulling up a chair from another desk. Lily sniggered. _What's wrong with me?_ She thought.

'Yeah,' said Lily. Remus looked at her. Maybe it was to do with the moon, but he was stirred by her today, eager to impress. He waved his wand, whispering an incantation, and a lily appeared from nowhere. He passed it to Lily.

'Wow, that's amazing!' She smiled shyly.

'Not as amazing as you,' Remus flattered. 'Lily, I've reconsidered what you said before. And your devotion was touching, when you followed me yesterday. You really wanted to talk to me, didn't you.'

'I just wanted to see you,' Lily said sadly. 'I don't know why.'

'Well, do you want to see me more?'

'Is that possible? We are friends.'

'What if we were more than friends?'

'Are you -'

'Yes,' Remus said, remembering how he'd hugged her in the Shack. 'Wanna go out with me, Evans?' he said in his best impersonation of Prongs.

Lily didn't answer with words. She kissed him on the mouth, taking him by surprise completely.

'_Lily!_' he exclaimed through the kiss - and then he found himself kissing her back.


	9. Jealousy's Antlers

It was a beautiful day, the first day of summer, and the full moon was gone. Golden light bathed the grounds and sixth year sat in the dreary History of Magic class, trying not to let the drone of Professor Bins' voice drill right through their heads. The closed window was the gateway to forgotten lands (i.e. the lawns that sloped down to the magnificent forest). Each student was having their own thoughts as the teacher's words washed over them. Lily unconsciously took notes though on what, she didn't know.

Remus kept trying to relive that kiss. He shouldn't have liked it; he knew that much. Lily was a friend.

Not any more.

She was a more-than-friend.

Why he'd done this was a mystery even to him. Remus Lupin, going out with Lily Evans! Prongs would kill him - literally - because quite simply, he'd be jealous. People always say that a boy's jealousy is laughable, but not James' jealousy. Even though Lily Evans hated his guts he was somewhat protective over her, possibly because he wanted to claim her as _his _prize but equally possibly because he really loved her.

Remus felt a horrible churning sensation in his stomach. He didn't like Lily in that way, not really, he just didn't want to cause his friend heartache. In a way, he knew he was going to hurt her more with this act of deception . . .

Mind you, she was a great kisser.

Lily, on the other hand, was lovestruck. She had dated other guys, sure, but she never liked them so much that they'd done - anything, really. Her first kiss had been the slobbery Hufflepuff quidditch captain, Macmillan, and it had been rather unromantic. Remus, on the other hand, had been perfectly lovely. Forgetting that she had kissed him first made it seem even more perfect to Lily, and she knew that he had liked it too.

If James found out, though, they were dead.

'Evans!' A paper aeroplane hit Lily on the back of the head. She turned and saw Potter wink at her like an idiot. Sirius shrugged, and Remus smiled helplessly. Peter was too busy taking notes to notice. She opened the aeroplane.

'_WILL U GO OUT WIV ME EVANS? YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO TASTE ME SO BAD, YOUR HOT HORNY BESTFRIEND JAMES WHO IS THE SEXIEST GUY ALIVE XOXOXOX  
P.S. SIRIUS WROTE THE HORNY BIT SOZ EVANS.'_

Shaking her head, Lily screwed up the paper and threw it at Potter. He smirked and threw it back.

Lily began to write. '_Piss off or next time your gentleman's region is facing me I shall hex it away, twerp._' She chucked it back. He read it, and gave her the finger. _If he acts like that, why would I date him?_

'Evans!' History of magic was over, and Lily prepared to face Potter. But it was Remus who she found herself looking at, and he smiled at her.

'You thought I was James, didn't you?'

'Hmm, let me think who else yells "Evans!" when they want to talk to me . . . Sirius is much more polite than James,' she said thoughtfully.

'Only to his equals; James is much nicer to his inferiors than Sirius is,' Remus retaliated.

'Oh well,' said Lily. 'Hey, it's potions next!'

Potions was more interesting than Remus had anticipated.

'Come on,' Lily said, pulling to the cauldron next to her. Then they began to work.

'Look,' whispered Remus, inclining his head towards Potter. 'Prongs is getting jealous.'

'We're just working together,' Lily protested. 'It's not like we're openly making out on top of the bench in skimpy underwear.'

'I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound all that appealing. The bench. I'd prefer a sofa.' Lily elbowed him, and he grinned. 'What?'

'Sirius.' The curly-haired boy was making his way across to them.

'Moony, how come you aren't with us today?'

'Lily, umm, needed help.'

'Ahh,' Sirius said. 'The best in the class is so stuck she needs Remus Lupin by her side to inspire her.'

'No, I asked him to sit here,' Lily said.

'What? And you left us all alone?' Sirius turned, once again, to Remus.

'Alone? Padfoot, you have Prongs and Wormy to keep you company.'

'They're both in a bad mood.'

'Why?'

'Because, for the past week, you haven't hung out with us at all! Where've you been?'

'With Lily,' Remus said. That was a mistake.

'With Lily? Why?'

'She's my friend too . . .'

'Oh, okay. I get it,' Sirius smirked. 'You two . . . right? What the hell is going on here?'

'Don't tell Potter,' Lily said, grabbing his arm as he tried to leave. 'If you do, I will curse you to oblivion.'

'She isn't joking,' Remus said seriously.

'Alright.'

'And Sirius? Keep it entirely to yourself, actually. Don't tell _anyone._'

'Alright. Can you let go of my arm now?'

'No,' Lily said. 'Promise you won't tell.'

'I promise.' Lily let go of his arm. He rubbed it, blowing out air.

'Sheesh, you have sharp fingernails, Evans.'

'Sorry, Black.' Then, the two of them grinned at each other and got back to work.

But Sirius knew.


	10. Remus Falls in Love - or Not

'Sirius knows!' Lily and Remus were sitting in Lily's favourite armchair by the common room fire, a week later. This was the umpteentth time this conversation had been held. Lily glanced at the clock; it was so late that even the other marauders were 'in bed' (probably out exploring the forest) so the two could afford to be together.

'Calm down. Relax, it's fine.' Remus wasn't too worried about Sirius. He was a friends and though he was close to James, he would never tell him something he had sworn to secrecy on, making his knowing okay.

'If you say so.' Lily snuggled closer to Remus. She was glad that they had got past the initial awkwardness of their relationship. But that was more that they were just like friends again, but with hugs and fleeting glances. Since the first one, they hadn't kissed, even though Lily yearned for it to happen again. Remus, on the other hand, was extremely uncomfortable with and physical contact with Lily, but he did like to sit with her by the fire with an arm around her shoulders.

'Remus?'

'Uh-huh?'

'Tell me how we got together, again?'

Remus sighed. 'You followed me to the willow because you were curious. I told you to go away.'

'Umm, that isn't the bit I was thinking of.'

'We went to the library, and you said that you enjoyed the novelty of a Potter-free environment.'

Lily laughed. 'That's true, but I want to hear how we got where we are now.'

'Well, before that in Hogsmeade when I confessed my . . . illness,' he said carefully, 'I lost it a bit and started hugging you.'

'Lost it?'

'Lily, would I normally start stroking your hair and pulling you towards me?'

'Nope, not back then.'

'Exactly.'

'But how did we get together?'

'I asked you out.'

'Obviously. But why? Before that you were just my friend and wanted it to stay that way.'

'I saw no harm in it, and I want you to be happy.'

'That's what I love about you,' Lily sighed. 'You only want other people to be happy. It's a beautiful thing, to have a kind nature.'

'Thank you.' Remus kissed the top of her head.

'No, thank _you._' Lily stretched her head up and kissed his chapped lips gently.

'_Lily!_'

'_Remus!_' she mocked, grinning.

'What was that for?'

'For you.'

'I know that, Lily.'

'Then why did you ask?'

'We need to do this steadily. I still don't know -'

'If you like me?'

'Of course I like you! You've been my friend since second year, you're beautiful, and you're the brightest person I know.'

'Then why do you want to go slow?' Lily was closer now. 'Remus, I thought that you could like me too.'

'I still don't know if I like you enough. Look, I want to go slowly in this, Lily.'

'How slowly?'

'Slow enough not to be knocked off balance.' Remus stood up. 'Good night, Lily.' He stalked up the stairs to his dorm.

Lily sat, silent, watching the dying embers of the fire. She understood Remus' desire for a slow relationship. They had been going out how long? Eight days? Okay, so that wasn't very long, she appreciated that, but their relationship hadn't really changed that much. The fact that he was treating this like a friendship with a hint of romance was fine for her, but she wished they had more.

* * *

**So . . . the eleventh chapter!**

**I really want to work on my other Fanfic for a while, I've been neglecting it for a while, so you, loyal fans, may have to wait a while. Why don't you go read my other stories? Or just sit and watch some Blackadder and eat crumpets whilst you wait for this to be ready. I'm going to try to write some now so don't fret!**

**Sorry for being so frustrating,**

**Ophelia xx**


	11. Remus in Love - For Real

'It's beautiful,' Lily said truthfully. The couple stood on the astronomy tower in the warm June air.

'Thank you,' said Remus, genuinely pleased. 'I made it myself.' Lily smiled, reaching to put the pendant round her neck. It was a sunny evening, but Remus didn't really notice. He couldn't couldn't believe that he'd kept it up so long. The going out with Lily.

Mind you, now, he didn't have to pretend, he realised, as he held her and pulled her to his chest. She was warm and he could feel her breathing, the rise and fall of her chest and the tickling on his neck. Her green eyes met his, soft and doe-like, and he inhaled. A slight breeze made their hair tangle, and Lily laughed, leaning back in his arms. He laughed too, supporting her back, and then, still holding her, leaned in and kissed her deeply.

Remus was in love. Over time, he hadn't realised this fact, but it suddenly came to him now like a tidal wave.

Lily was in love, too. She'd thought she was before, but this was something entirely new. She let Remus kiss her, absorbing the pressure on her lips and pushing back with hers. Her hands found his hair, and ruffled it. She vaguely felt his hands round her waistline, and let her hands trail down to his.

'Lily?'

'Don't stop,' she whispered, eyes still shut.

'Lily, I don't think we should.'

'Should what?'

'Do this. Why are we doing this?'

'You started it,' Lily murmured, trying to find his lips with hers.

'So I did,' Remus said with a sense of defeat, and kissed her again.

The sun was low in the sky by the time the two returned to civilisation. They had missed dinner, so Remus lead the way to the kitchens. Lily stood by the painting of the fruit, bewildered.

'Tickle the pear,' Remus hinted. Lily did and the painting swung open.

'Master Lupin! Welcome,' came a voice near her feet. She looked down and squealed.

'Awww! House elves?'

'Yes. Hello, Blonkie,' Remus said, smiling at the small house elf. 'D'you think we could grab some food?'

'Anything, anything for Master Lupin and his friend,' Blonkie said, bowing over and over.

'Stop the master stuff, Blonkie!'

'But -'

Remus smiled at the elf. 'Don't worry.'

'Food for master,' she muttered, running off. Lily looked at the elf's retreating back.

'You come here often?'

'Yes, James and Wormy can't get enough of the food. Sirius likes it too.' Remus sighed.

'It's so interesting! And these elves . . . they're adorable!'

From the far side of the kitchen, a tray was emerging. On it were piles of sliced persimmon and blueberries, a full selection of antipasto and assorted breads.

'These are my favourites!' Lily exclaimed. Blonkie smiled.

'Yes, Miss Lily, ma'am,' she squeaked. 'Master Lupin specially requested -'

'How did you know, Remus?'

'Magic,' he joked, squeezing her. She pecked him on the cheek.

The two of them then proceeded to eat in silence. Lily popped a blueberry in his mouth and he ate it slowly, watching her vaguely.

'You close your eyes when you chew,' she said.

'Really?'

'Yeah.'

The two finished their food, and Remus thanked the elves.

'Come on, let's go,' he said.

'Alright. Thanks, Blonkie!'

'Anything for Miss Lily, anything for Master Lupin's friends,' the elf gushed as the pair of them left the busy kitchens.

Remus and Lily were in the entrance hall when Remus stopped walking abruptly.

'What day is it?' he asked suddenly.

'It must be the 23rd . . . why?'

'Moon.'

'Damn.'

'Worse than damn, Lily.'

'Shit.'

'I think that's still an understatement. Lily, run.'

'Remus?'

'_Run!_' he barked. Lily didn't hesitate, she remembered the last time she'd encountered him in this form.

Remus disappeared out of the front door, twitching slightly, but she wasn't looking. She was running up the stairs - and collided head-on with what seemed to be nothing.

'What the hell was- Evans?' the nothing said, shocked.

'Oh God,' Lily muttered. 'Potter, let me past.'

'Prongs, move, you're on my foot. Lily! What are you doing?' Sirius exclaimed. They were still invisible.

'I could ask you the same,' she said. '_Levicorpus!_' The pair of boys shot into the air, held up by one ankle by some invisible force. Potter's invisibility cloak fell the the ground.

'We were going for a walk,' Sirius said calmly. 'Let me down, Lily, this is embarrassing.'

'What were you really doing?'

'Nothing!' Potter said irritably. 'What are _you_ doing?'

'I was escorting Remus to the entrance hall,' Lily lied confidently. 'Now, I want to go to bed.' That shut them up.

'Let us down first . . . and why were you escorting him?'

'Because he asked,' she lied, again.

'We'll ask him when we see him,' Potter muttered.


	12. That Long-Expected Punch

Lily and Remus were sitting in an armchair together, her head on his shoulder. Remus was staring vacantly into the fire and Lily had her eyes closed; she snuggled closer to him with a sigh.

'Hey, Moony,' James Potter said loudly. Lily's eyes opened, but she didn't move. Obviously he couldn't see her over the top of the armchair.

'Prongs,' Remus said calmly. 'Care to join us?' He gestured towards the empty chair next to them, but James stopped.

'What do you mean, us?'

'I meant me,' Remus said quickly.

'No you didn't,' James joked, walking over to the chair. He had just been pulling Remus' leg.

'_Evans?_'

'Hey, Potter,' she smiled. 'Want something to drink?' She pushed a bottle of butterbeer towards him with he foot.

'What are you . . . why . . .'

'This is going to take a while to ex-' Remus didn't finish his sentence, because James punched him in the mouth.

'Potter, you forget yourself,' Lily snarled, leaping up. Remus groaned.

'He's not worth it, Lily.'

'Go away,' she said. 'Or apologise. Even better, do both.'

'He stole you from me,' he said angrily.

'Potter, I was never yours,' Lily yelled. 'I _hate_ you! I don't know why Remus, or Sirius or Peter, can stand you!'

'If I'm horrid then so's Sirius,' James spat. 'He's just as bad.'

'But he isn't, James,' Lily said, quietly. 'He was brought up that way by his mother. You're just an arrogant prick!'

'Get lost,' Remus said, through a thick nose bleed.

'I do it for you,' James shouted, ignoring Remus.

'Well I don't want you too! I'm even more embarrassed for you now, Potter.'

James tramped up to his dorm and pulled up the floorboard under his bed. It was still there.

Dutch courage. Potter needed it.

He drank the bootleg firewhiskey in one go. It was a whole tankard but he didn't care. Vision clouded, he stumbled back down the stairs into the common room.

'What do you want?' Remus said fiercely, pulling out his wand. His nose was still bleeding and was swollen now. Lily stood and pulled out her wand too.

'I want you to hand her over,' he said stubbornly.

'She was never yours!' Remus said calmly.

'I told you, get lost!' Lily said, raising her wand hand.

'Whatcha gonna do, curse me?' James taunted.

'Yep. ___Calvorio!_' Lily flicked her wand and James clutched his head.

'You . . . you bitch!'

'Prongs, if you wanted her to go out with you so badly you wouldn't have said that.'

'Night, Potter,' Lily said, and Remus and she disappeared out of the portrait hole.

Lily's curse had worked beautifully.

James Potter was completely bald. The spell which Lily had used was simply to humiliate him and deprive him of one of his best features, his stylishly ruffled black hair.

Meanwhile, in the corridor outside, Remus and Lily walked determinedly away from the Gryffindor tower. The flow of blood from Remus' nose had almost stopped but his face was covered in it.

'That was great,' Remus said after a while of silence.

'What was?'

'The hair thing.'

'Oh, that. I quite enjoyed doing that.'

'I enjoyed watching.'

'How's your nose?'

'How do you think?'

'Bad?'

'Worse than bad.'

'_Episkey._' Lily tapped Remus' nose with her wand, and it fixed with a sickening crunch.

'Thanks,' Remus said, putting his arm around her and squeezing.

'I'm sorry if I lost you a friend, Remus,' Lily said quietly.

'He'll come around,' he replied. 'Now, where are we going?'

'Anywhere will do,' Lily said. 'I have no idea.'

'What about here?' Remus pointed out a door which neither of them had noticed before.

'Where?'

'Here. I swear this wasn't here before . . . and it isn't on the map, I don't think.'

'The map?'

'Oh, nothing. Come on, let's go in and see.' He held the door open for Lily and she walked in. He followed.

'It's perfect,' Lily whispered - because it was. A roaring fire was going at the grate with a plump sofa infront, and there was a washbasin in the corner. 'And I think that I know what the basin's for.'

Remus frowned. 'What?'

'Washing you.'

'Sorry?'

'Your nose, silly! Sit there.' Remus did, and Lily started to tenderly wipe the dried blood of his face.

'Lily?'

'Yes?'

'This room gives us whatever we need . . . whatever we want?'

'I think so. By the looks of things, anyway,' Lily said.

'Look, let's go and sit by the fire,' Remus said. 'My nose is good now.' He tapped Lily on hers and held out his hand to her. 'C'mon.'

Lily took his hand and they walked the few feet to the sofa. Well, Lily had called it a sofa, but whilst they had been cleaning the blood of Remus' face it seemed to have shrunk into a loveseat. The room knew what she wanted.

Remus wasn't quite sure what to think. James hated him now; if only there was something he could do . . .

'Lily,' he exclaimed.

'What?' she said. 'What is it?'

'I have an idea. James.'

'What about the bastard?'

'He hates me and still wants you, right?'

'Yes.'

'I could _Obliviate_ him,' Remus breathed.

'You're brilliant,' she said, kissing him on the forehead. Remus felt blood rush to his face.

'But I might not be good enough at magic to -'

'I don't doubt you,' Lily sighed, 'but I think to be on the safe side, I'll do it.'

'That sounds better,' he laughed uneasily. 'Shall we do it now?'

'We'd better, before he goes to the hospital wing with his baldness.'

'Prongs is too proud. He'll be in the dorm, trying to regrow it himself.'

'I wish him luck,' Lily grinned suddenly. 'We can fix him in the morning.'

The snuggled closer, much happier at this prospect.


	13. When Sparks Begin to Fly

The fire had long since died down, and Lily and Remus were curled up in the sofa, limbs entwined.

'You're beautiful,' Remus said, realising that he wasn't just saying empty words. She was; her hair was like burnished copper in the faint light.

'You told me,' Lily said, grinning slightly.

'This time I mean it.'

'So you didn't before?'

'Of course I meant it,' Remus said in offended tones.

'Come on, Moony, I was joking,' Lily smiled.

'Now you're calling me that too,' he mused.

'Would you rather I called you something else? Something more . . . intimate?'

'No!' Remus leaned away from her.

'Good,' Lily said, 'because I have no idea what that would be.'

'Neither do I,' Remus said. He twirled his wand at the fire, and the ashes curled into a small flame. 'Lily, do you get the feeling we're - falling apart?'

'Are we close enough yet for that to happen? I don't know what you're on about. But we never really do much.'

'I take you to Hogsmeade every fortnight. We have prefect duty. And we always sit in the armchair together before bed.'

'I mean . . . you seem scared.'

'Because you've been my friend for five years and I don't want to ruin that!'

'You are, though; once you've come part way with this you have to come the whole way,' Lily said. 'Otherwise we'll never be together _and _there'll be no use being friends.'

'I don't think it works like that,' Remus mumbled.

'You're scared,' Lily repeated. 'Scared.'

'Am not.

'Are too.'

'Scared of what?'

'Scared of me.'

'I'm sitting in a chair with you.'

'Yeah, but you're scared to -'

'Scared to what?'

'Kiss me,' Lily muttered, embarrassed.

'Is that all?' Remus said, surprised. 'I've kissed you plenty of times already.'

'They were like pecks and stuff,' Lily objected. 'You've only kissed me properly once!'

'Fine!' Remus stood up, infuriated.

'Remus?'

'I've had enough of this.'

'Remus, don't go!' Lily leaped to her feet.

'I wasn't going,' he said hotly. Lily reached up to kiss him, but he moved back.

'You're scared,' she said again. Remus seemed insulted.

'If I was scared, we wouldn't be here.'

'But we're here because you're scared what James will do.'

'That's beside the point. I'm not scared of _you_.'

Lily sat down again, and Remus saw tears glinting in her eyes. 'Lily?'

'Maybe this isn't right. Maybe we can't be friends again. Maybe we should just leave each other alone.'

'No,' Remus snarled, looking frighteningly wolf-like. 'I don't want you to be sad.'

'Then -'

'Shhh.' He sat next to her, and put a comforting arm around her. 'I'm sorry.' He tipped her chin up and drew her face closer to his face. 'Here's that kiss,' he whispered, and then he gave it to her.

'You know,' he said, when they broke apart, 'if one pretends long enough, the lie becomes the truth.'

'What's that meant to mean?'

'That I think I love you.'

'You've said that a million time,' Lily protested, still in his arms. 'How can I know?'

'What do you want me to do to prove it?' Remus said. 'I could kiss you, but that wouldn't mean a thing.'

'It wouldn't?' Lily said, hurt in her voice. 'Try. Please.'

'What?'

'Try.' Lily looked at him penetratingly.

Remus looked back at her for a minute, confused. Her lips were slightly parted and her eyes were longing. He inhaled deeply, then kissed her with all the force he could muster. Then Lily was kissing him back, her eyes slowly closing, and Remus let his shut too. Their legs entwined again and Remus felt Lily's hands run through his hair. He let his sense of impulse take over from reason and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her towards him.

Lily felt like she'd died and gone to heaven. Their relationship so far had been arguments and cuddles, but now it felt - alive. She was fearful of nothing, swooping over a silver mist. She could do anything. _Anything. _  
Slowly, Lily reached round to Remus' shirt buttons.

Remus froze, pulling away. Lily was unknotting his tie. It wasn't right. 'What the hell are you doing?'

'I . . .'

'Look, I don't think this is working.' Remus stood, straightened his tie, and stalked out the of the room of the requirement; because that was where they were.


End file.
